Lost Mishaps and Forgotten Escapades
by regenengel3
Summary: Companion to 'When Sirius Jumped Dimensions and Traveled Through Time.' I recommend reading that one first as the Marauders are all in different Houses and Sirius often knows things. These are all the humorous things the Marauders get up to that don't make it into the other story. Warning: the chapters jump around a bit, so one chapter might be in first year, the next in sixth.
1. When Moony Went Loopy

**Chapter 1:** What Happened the Day Moony became Loony

Remus forced down a mad chuckle as he stole down the corridor. Oh this was going to be so much _fun!_ Why hadn't Sirius mentioned that potions accidents could be so _fun?!_ Another mad giggle tried to force it's way out his mouth but he clamped down on it. Giggles would give his position away to the enemy, and he couldn't have that now could he? No. He most certainly could not. "Because, deep down, you _like_ danger. And who could deny that I am dangerous?" he heard Sirius say and couldn't help putting in his two cents.

"No-one?" he chimed with a cheeky grin. Sirius looked at him as if he had never seen anything like him before. Remus fought down _another_ mad giggle. Oh such _fun!_

"How the heck did you get over here when you have class with the Gryffindors _on the other side of the castle_?!" Sirius asked, eyes wide. Remus smirked in a way eerily like a mix of James' 'I have something planned' smirk and Sirius' own feral grin. It sent chills down the other two Marauder's spines. Remus let out a near inaudible chuckle, he _had_ to allow himself _that_ much for being such a _good_ boy... right?

"Magic."The other Slytherins, and quite a few of the Hufflepuffs, turned in surprise and curiosity when a meaty _thud_ resounded in the hallway. "Hum, face-wall. Something tells me you're doing it wrong," Remus said, creepy smirk still firmly in place. Sirius pried his face from the wall and leveled Remus with a similar, trouble heralding, smirk. Oh yes, this was going to be a _wonderful_ day!

"You're right. _This_ is how it's done!" and with that, Sirius grabbed the back of Remus' head and introduced his face to the wall. Peter snorted, then helped Remus pry himself off the stone of Hogwarts.

"Class?" he asked, voice slightly sarcastic and with a quirked eyebrow. Remus nodded.

"Too right. Well, I'll see you gentlemen later I suppose. Try not to get lynched Sirius, I don't think even James knows enough about you to give a proper eulogy," he said before dashing toward his class. Sirius shook his head.

"Dictionary Breath," he muttered, causing Peter to chuckle. Remus had heard the plans of the Hufflepuffs to get back at Sirius for 'threatening their Baby Puff,' thought he wasn't too worried. Siri was one of the slipperiest people he knew. It was only fitting. He _was_ a snake after all. Oh! Snaky Snakes! Yes, that was an idea... but should it be a targeted prank, or school wide? And how would he pull off such large scale human transfiguration? No-one would help...hum. Perhaps... MASS POTIONS ACCIDENT! YES! Spread the _FUN!_ Oh yes, a simply _marvelous_ idea! But then... how to get the Gryffindor/Slytherin potions class to have the _right_ potions accident? Hum... planning. Moony _loves_ planning! Quick! To the Plan Room! Onward!

/*/

As Peeves watched Remus streak down the hallway trailing laughter that would be more at home with James or Sirius, he knew he simply _had_ to follow. A loopy Lupin promised chaos and mayhem... Peeves' _favorite_ things. Perhaps he had found a way to pick a favorite Marauder? Oh Peevesie would _adore_ that! Now, to find out what Loony Loopy Lupin was up too... It didn't take long for Peeves to find the cackling werewolf hidden in a nook in the library, pouring over potions texts with a mad gleam in his eye and a particularly cracked looking smile twisting his lips. Oh yes, Peevesie was going to enjoy this! They planned pranks on Slytherin, the Great Hall, Slughorn, half of Gryffindor, all four common rooms, and sixty-seven percent of the halls, corridors, and desks. Not the classrooms, the _desks_. Very important distinction there, yes. "Come Sir Peeves! Chaos and mayhem and _fun_ await!" Remus cried, jumping on a table before dashing off to lay his parts of the pranks. Peeves cackled as he floated off at top speed to do his part as well. Oh, what a glorious day this was! Not that Peeves wasn't going to mock the poor boy mercilessly once whatever happened got undone, but Peeves did nothing if not 'live' in the moment. Oh yes! Hogwarts would remember this day _FOREVER!_ Unless they forced themselves to believe that Remus would _never_ crack like this. That would be sad. Peevesie must help it live on! Yes, Remus was no longer Remus. He was... Loony Loopy Lupin the Magnificent Prankster King of Ultimate Awesomeness and Genius! But let's just call him Loony Loopy Lupin for short. Yes, Loony Loopy Lupin was much better than that mouthful, but Peevesie would never forget. He would forever remember this day and honor the great King! Even if it was mistaken for malicious teasing. He had an image to maintain after all. Couldn't have the other poltergeists thinking he'd gone soft now could he? No. He could not.

/*/

"POTTER! PETTIGREW! _BLACK!_ He's _your_ friend. _You_ catch him!" screeched McGonagal, pointing after the madly cackling Remus who was trailed by not only an equally mirthful Peeves but also an assortment of paperclips, chap-stick tubes, feather boas, chattering Slytherins, maned Gryffindors, pink Hufflepuffs, purple Gryffindors, singing Seventh Years, grunting Ravenclaws, tooting fire pokers, white elephants, ballerina Slytherins, neon Third Years, a tattooed Slughorn, and Second Years stuck to their chairs. Sirius facepalmed. Peter _swore_ he muttered, 'how could I forget _that day?!_' James whimpered. Remus tossed his robe in the air yelling,

"You'll never catch me! Know why? CAUSE I'M THE GINGERBREAD MAN!" Sirius sighed.

"Severus... would you be so kind as to see to a certain potion for me? I need a cleanser, something that flushes _all_ the pipes. He was in a potions accident. A _bad_ potions accident," he said. Severus took one look at the now _singing_ Remus and paled... further.

"I'll... get right on that," he said, almost as if he wanted to ask, but didn't _dare_. Sirius nodded, almost to himself, then took another deep breath and slowly let it out.

"James, I need ropes. Good ones. Peter, distraction. Keep him in _one room_. Can you do that?" he asked. Peter gave him a Look and he nodded back. "Good man. Okay troops... MOVE OUT!" What followed cannot be properly explained nor comprehended. Please, use your imagination as to what catching a _very_ hyper active Remus would be like, then think of the fussiest baby you know and imagine forcing foul tasting medicine down his throat. Then knock him out and tie his to a bed with chains. That's what happened to Remus. He woke up with a raging head ache and a vague sense of loss. He shook it off and forgot about it... until Peeves came to him in an abandoned corridor and called him by his Prankster Title. He grinned wickedly at Peeves.

"The title goes no farther than this... though even the student body will take up Loony Loopy Lupin if someone starts it. I'll play along. It's what I do best, right?" Peeves left with his signature cackle and Lupin had a predatory gleam in his eye before he shook his head and resumed his 'studious Ravenclaw' persona. Who said the world had to know the real pranking geniuses were Eagles? Oh, and whoever said Ravenclaws don't know how to have fun was lying. Just ask the Hufflepuffs.


	2. Marauder Pirate Day

**Chapter 2:** Marauder Pirate Day

Regulus thought to himself, as the Gryffindor table burst into song, he really should have known better. He should have known better than to let Remus get the guys together to watch Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. Why? Well... "Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of RUM!" sang Peter, who was dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow and dancing with James, who was dressed as Will Turner.

"I'm surrounded by idiots," Regulus drawled glumly to himself. Severus thumped down on the bench beside him, an equally glum look on his face, though that was pretty much how he always looked.

"How old are they again?" the potions protege asked dryly.

"Not old enough," Regulus grumbled, pulling the hood of his robe over his face. He didn't know who had first thought to have hoods on the school robes - what was the point if they were required to have a pointed hat? - but he was glad of it then. And really, no-one wore the hat. It was a dorky hat. Then again, 'dorky' seemed to be the word of the day.

"Oi! Sirius! What do you think you're doing?!" Severus yelled, starling Regulus out of his thoughts, which really weren't going anywhere. Sirius was dressed in a Halloween pirate costume and chugging butterbeer. Regulus groaned and face-palmed.

"What next? Lily dressed as Elizabeth? Remus dressed as that skinny pirate with the wooden eye? Singing suits of armor charmed to look like the zombie crew?" he asked, mostly sarcastic. Severus groaned and the younger Black's head shot up

"You had to ask, didn't you?" the potioneer drawled.

"Yes. Yes I did. And now? Now I'm going pirate hunting," Regulus said, suddenly dressed as an English Naval Officer. It was Severus' turn to face-palm.

"Oi! Officer! Nice hat!" James cried.

"Oh aye, it's a fine hat. But ye really shouldn't be a'givin' the lawmen no ideas. He did say he was a'comin' for ye's," Marlene said. Lily stepped up, wearing Elizabeth's fighting clothes and holding a wooden sword, and said,

"If you want my Will, you'll have to come through me!" Severus sighed, then smirked.

"Aye, but he won't be rushing you lot alone," he said as he stood, somehow wearing a matching uniform. Together, Regulus and Severus drew their wooden swords and engaged the crew of the Black Griffin in deadly combat. Combat that was ended when the professors shot body binds at them, causing the fighters to fall to the ground. Once promises had been extracted, the Marauders and Friends were allowed up, but they didn't get rid of their costumes. Rather, they turned it into a day long prank, playing out their characters in over the top ways. They never came to blows, but the Pirates and the Marines narrated battles in the halls all day. It was rather amusing, but everyone was rather happy when they were back to what was considered normal for them in the morning. However, stories would be told about Marauder Pirate Day for years to come. It might even have it's own entry in Hogwarts: A History, 1980 edition.


	3. When Sirius said 'Let's Start a Band'

**Chapter 3:** When Sirius said, "Lets Start a Band!"

Regulus said, "No way am I wearing that." Sirius pouted.

"But... the bass player..." he moaned, holding up a poster of some muggle rock band wearing tattered black cloth over a jumpsuit made out of mustard yellow spandex, or something that looked like it anyway. Regulus glared.

"Not. On. Your. Life. You'd be better off asking James to hate Lily or Remus to stop eating chocolate," he said, voice as icy as his glare. Sirius pouted, but relented as his imagination supplied the most likely scenario of him asking Moony to give up chocolate, which wasn't all that hard to do. He just had to remember that time back in first year when some poor fool ate Moony's whole stash of the sugary goodness. Sirius shivered, screams of pain and sickening laughter echoing in his ears. Yeah, best just give up on the spandex/rags ensemble.

"What about... this?" he asked, holding out a picture of another punk rocker wearing black, ripped jeans, a black t-shirt, and a patchwork leather vest with silver rivets. Regulus considered it.

"Better... but I'm not going to be a part of your band. Sorry, but you'd best pick another loser because I'm not doing it," he said, turning back to his transfiguration homework. Sirius pouted.

"You're no fun! Fine. You probably would have sucked as a bass player anyway!" he whined as he stormed out of the room. Regulus sighed and continued working.

_'Thirty odd years, plus a hundred odd years, plus thirteen years, and the guy's still a complete and utter and immature idiot,'_ he thought, though a small smile tugged at his lips, glad that his brother got the chance to be a kid, even if he didn't understand what all Sirius had been through in his past life.

/*/

"James! Be the bass player in my band?" Sirius called, bouncing up alongside James. The Potter Heir looked at the two posters in his friend's hands and his eyes went wide.

"AHHHHHHHHHH! KILL IT WITH FIRE!" he yelled when he saw the rags-and-mustard-spandex get-up. Sirius pouted, but vanished the offending poster. "Oh. Hi. What?" James said, coming out of his horror-induced trance. Sirius' pout intensified.

"You. Bass. My band?" he said, turning on The Puppy Eyes of Death. James sighed.

"I don't know how to play the bass," he said. Then he saw how Sirius slumped over. "But I can play the guitar! I learned on a classical, but I'm sure I can adapt what I know to an electric!" he said quickly. Sirius bounced back and pulled out... "There's no way I'm wearing that."

"What! But this is cool!" Sirius shouted, waving the zebra print pants and tiger stripe vest. James gave him a bland look.

"That. Is. An. _Abomination_," James said.

"What about this?" Sirius said, pulling out dark brown, ripped, jeans, a distressed dark brown leather jacket, and a black tank top. James smiled.

"That.. _that_, is cool. I'm in," he said. Sirius crowed and dashed off to find Peter, hoping to find a bass player. James shook his head and went to the library, where he saw Regulus sitting at the desk, pouring over his potions homework. "Did Sirius tell you about his band?" he asked. Regulus snorted.

"He held up a poster with this guy wearing a monstrosity of ripped black cloth over what looked like mustard yellow spandex and asked me to be the bass player in it. I told him no way was I wearing that, and he held up this," he held up the second poster. "I said it was better, but I still wasn't going to play. He ran off like a pouty child, saying I was no fun and likely a really bad player anyway. What did he get you with?"

"First he blasted me with the first abomination, then he got me with these hideous zebra pants and tiger vest. Then, he wised up and pulled out this," James responded, pulling out the jeans, tank top, and jacket Sirius had pulled out last. Regulus whistled.

"So, he got you to agree. Bass?"

"No. Electric." Regulus hummed.

"It's funny. Thirty odd years, plus a hundred odd years, plus thirteen years, and the guy's still a complete and utter and immature idiot," he said, sharing his musings on Sirius' attitude. James chuckled, though he was trying to push away the revelations Sirius had given him, the look into his life that was unbelievable even with magic.

"Yeah. But I think, he's just... going with it, ya know? If he lets it get to him... it might just crush him." Regulus hummed, shook his head, and turned back to his potions homework.

"Yeah, that sounds about right. If you have any homework, now's the time to get it done. Sirius is likely to be back with his first song any minute now," he said. James gave the boy a grateful smile and pulled out his own potions homework.

/*/

Peter stared at his friend. "You want me to what now?" he asked.

"Play the bass in my band!" Sirius said happily. Peter could almost see the large black dog Sirius said he could change into behind him, wagging its tail excitedly.

"Um... I can't play bass. But I can play drums," he said. Sirius grinned and pulled out a third hideous outfit. Peter saw it and his eye twitched. "I _cannot_ play drums in that outrageous thing. The fringe? Caught in my sticks. The color? No. Way. Not even for House Pride. The pants? I don't think I'd even be able to walk much less sit in those things. Not to mention how unseemly they are. They are _way_ too tight. I'll find my own outfit, thank you very much," he said, after sending a Bombarda at the offending suit. Sirius was equal parts happy and sad with this outcome, so he ended up just bland. Now that he had Peter and James, he went off to get Remus to be the bass player. He wasn't sure why he kept asking for bass, but that's how it ended up. Turned out, Remus couldn't play an instrument, but he had a good voice. And he didn't like what Sirius offered as his stage outfit. And so, Sirius was stuck as his own bass player. Though, his friends found out what he was planning on wearing on stage and promptly transfigured the monstrosity of green and red into a more tasteful get up in black and white. Then, they got to practicing. They weren't all that bad, but the name...

"Why are we called 'The Padfoots'?" Peter asked.

"I like 'Remus and the Lupins.'" Remus said randomly.

"'The Blibbering Humdingers,'" James said, making everyone blink in confusion.

"What?"

"No."

"'Let's Lumos!'?"

"Um..."

"No."

"'The Marauders,'" deadpanned Peter, seeming to come to the conclusion that anything else was just stupid. The others pouted.

"Pete!"

"Oh come on, you know it's really the only name we can have. I mean really? Everything else is just... it doesn't fit. We are The Marauders and nothing else fits us," he said sharply. The others sighed, but nodded.

/*/

Regulus blinked. _How on earth did they get this popular in one year?!_ And did they need a back up singer? He shook his head at the poster he had been staring at. It was Sirius. He did things like this. But still... how did it happen? They had concerts, and fan followings, and record deals, and really good songs, and did he mention _record deals?!_ Dang, his brother was cool! Now where was that record? He had a divination essay due and needed some inspiration.

_'You're running_

_running_

_running..._

_now stop_

_draw your wand_

_and fight_

_fight_

_fight!_

_It's not all darkness_

_it's not all lost_

_I can see the end!_

_Gryffindor will win the cup,_

_Slytherin will be torn,_

_Hufflepuff will be steady,_

_Ravenclaw will take flight,_

_and Hogwarts will endure!'_

Aw yeah. That's where it's at! Did he mention the good songs? Okay, maybe not the best, but for divination homework? Oh yeah, it helps. Now, what do The Marauders say about death?


	4. Card Games of DOOM!

**Disclaimer:** Regenengel3 does not own Harry Potter, Yu-Gi-Oh!, or any of their affiliates. That said, enjoy the mild insanity that is the Marauders playing card games.

**Chapter 4**: Card Games... of DOOM!

Peter stared in wonder. How did these two manage to make a simple game of go fish so intense? "GIVE ME YOUR KINGFISH!"

"I DON'T HAVE ANY KINGFISH! GO FISHING!"

"YOU DO TO HAVE KINGFISH! GIVE EM' HERE!"

"Catfish," Remus muttered quietly. Severus wordlessly handed him a card.

"Swordfish?" Regulus queried placidly.

"Here," Remus answered, sliding over the card.

"Oh thank you! I win," Regulus said happily, spreading all of his cards out on the table in front of him.

"I DON'T HAVE YOUR STINKIN'... wait... did you just say you won?" Sirius shouted, turning to his brother in surprise.

"Oh thank heavens," Peter moaned in relief, splaying his cards as well. "Is it always this way when you play cards?" he asked, looking over at Regulus.

"Unfortunately, whenever Sirius plays a card game, especially with James, he gets like that. Every time. Their magic lashes out and makes the cards really sharp. Didn't you play cards with them during first year?" he answered.

"Oh. Yeah," Peter said, thinking about how the cards started swimming and biting and generally being a pain.

"Time for pit!" Sirius yelled. Peter moaned, his head hitting the table. It was going to be a long night, wasn't it?

/*/

"WHO'S IDEA WAS IT TO PLAY PIT WITH EXPLODING SNAP CARDS!? I WILL _END_ HIM!" roared Sirius. Regulus groaned, prompting all but James to lay down their heads.

"It was your idea, Sirius. Said it would make the game more... interesting I believe was the term," the soot covered Potter said, deceptively calm. Sirius growled.

"Of course. How could I forget. Next round!" he said, switching from annoyed to cheery with startling quickness. All the relatively sane people groaned, but James grinned.

"Oh, you are going _down!_" he said, the gleam of a troublemaker in his eyes. Sirius just laughed, soaking in the happy atmosphere. Until James got his hand to explode. Then he was ticked.

/*/

"How do you always manage to get the Blue Eyes White Dragon on the third turn? I don't even have time to set the trap card!"

"I am Yugi Moto. Bow before me."

"No. Know why? _Because you aren't Yugi Moto!_"

"... I am Jaden Yuki. Bow before me."

"Jaden never had a Blue Eyes!"

"... I am Joey Wheeler. Bow before me."

"Joey... ! Ya know what? I give up. Destroy my Dark Magician, I don't care anymore."

"Yes! Seto Kiba cannot be beaten!"

"... Sirius... you're seriously unstable."

"But you love me!"

"... Go jump in a lake."

"It's more fun watching those two than it is playing the game," Remus mused. Regulus nodded, Peter threw down a face down, Severus cackled madly as he played the Red Eyes Black Dragon, and Remus squawked as he realized his Celtic Warrior had just been torched.

"Yu-Gi-Oh! RULES!" Sirius cheered. James fell forward, moaning in mental agony.

"I am never playing cards with you again, you understand?" Sirius grinned a shark-like grin.

"We shall see, my friend. We shall see!"

/*/

"I win the pot!" Sirius cheered, scooping up his poker winnings. James threw down his cards, scattering his chips.

"I knew I shouldn't have agreed to this. Card shark." Sirius laughed evilly.

"You issued a challenge. I accepted. And I _won!_ Extra galleon," he said. James glared, but flicked a shining galleon at his friend.

"We shall meet again, my foe. And when we do... it will be a card game... _to the death!_" Peter shook his head at the pair.

"It's always Card Games of Doom with those two," he muttered, laying down a royal flush. With a grin, he took the pot he, Regulus, and Severus had going. "Card Games of Doom."


	5. The Cheese Cake Corridor

Disclaimer: ... I don't own the characters. Or the Harry Potter franchise. I do have a computer though!

**Chapter 5: **Origin of the Cheese Cake Corridor

Regulus blinked, wondering why he was even there, as James, Peter, and Remus brainstormed pranks to use on Sirius. Finally, Regulus sighed and muttered, "Cheese cake." Everyone turned to him in confusion. He looked up, deadpan, and said, "I want cheese cake." Peter grinned.

"Perfect. We'll make a huge cheese cake... and dump it on Sirius! What's his favorite fruit?" he asked.

"Lime," Regulus answered, still perfectly deadpan. Peter nodded. "You aren't going to do this... not alone. I'm in."

"Fine."

/*/

"No! The cheese goes _there_, not there!" Regulus cried in distress. Cream cheese, graham cracker crumbs enlarged limes, and puddles of juice littered the hallway as the group tried, and failed, to make a giant cheese cake. It was so big, they couldn't make it in a classroom or the kitchens, so they were out in the hallway. Just as James was levitating the cheese to where the aggravated Regulus was pointing emphatically, Sirius strolled around the corner and straight into the floating cheese. Regulus groaned, but the Marauders all smirked.

"I hate you all, you grinning fools," Sirius muttered darkly. Regulus silently vowed never to get involved in a prank against his brother again. Not with the yahoos beside him anyway. Peter just chuckled and looped an arm around Sirius' shoulders.

"You don't mean that and we all know it. Why don't you just accept the madness of your second life and be done with it?" he said all too cheerfully. Sirius' glare intensified.

"No. I really mean it," he said, still doing a passable impression of Severus Snape. James chuckled.

"Well," he said, swiping some whipped cream from his friend's shoulder, "now you know why _we_ think you're our friend, so why don't you tell us what you agreed with?" Sirius sighed, then smirked.

"All of it, you crazy wizards," he said, tossing a laughing James into a smirking Remus and knocking both of them into a rather large pile of cream cheese and graham cracker crumbs. Peter sat back with a contented smile, before Sirius shoved him into a patch of lime juice. "And whose idea was it to turn the corridor into a cheese cake topped with whipped cream and limes?" he asked. Regulus sheepishly raised a hand. Sirius looked scandalized. "And you asked these clowns to help you?" Regulus nodded. "Without me?" Sirius asked, sounding hurt. The Marauders and Regulus grinned.

"Want to help finish it?" they asked as one. With a grin, Sirius whipped out his wand, gave it a theatrical flourish, and assembled the splattered ingredients. "Show off," muttered Regulus, stuffing his hands in his pockets and heading to the kitchens for some lime topped cheese cake that _hadn't_ had Marauders tossed into it. And thus, the Cheese Cake Corridor happened, and there was much nomming.

/?/

a/n: Okay, not one of my best, but bare with me. The next one is... The Great Marshmallow War!


	6. Remus is a Genius

**Chapter 6:** Moony is a Mad GENIUS! All Bow Before his AWESOMENESS of DOOM!

_Then came the Great Marshmallow War of Nineteen Seventy-Four. It lasted an entire meal and it took months for the smell to leave, though there was still a sweetness to the air for years. Everyone quite firmly blamed Sirius when really, it had been Remus who spelled the marshmallows. No-one ever suspects the quite, studious ones. Stupid everyone, never suspecting the quite ones. They're more often than not the dangerous ones. _

Remus smirked as he slid out of the kitchens after charming all the marshmallows that would be set out for people to add to their coco, since it was almost Christmas. Ah, pranks and marshmallows and coco... could it be any better? "Oi, Remus, why are you smiling like the cat who ate the canary?" Peter asked, on his way out of the Hufflepuff common room. Remus' grin took on a wolf-like quality.

"Pranks and marshmallows and coco, oh my~!" he sang out. It was rather creepy if Peter were to be honest. But at the same time...

"Oh, this is going to be fun!" he chortled. Remus laughed a truly evil laugh and all who heard ran for the hills.

/*/

Sirius knew there was something odd about the marshmallows that night. But what was it? He sniffed one. It seemed... overly sweet. He quirked an eyebrow and cast as wandless and nearly silent spell revealing charm. And there it was, a rather ingenious spell meant to make the marshmallows explode on impact with a sub affect of a lingering smell. He grinned and looked at Peter. He was answered with a matching grin. "And Father said that the Dark Lord will grant us power!" one of the more mindless Slytherin's boasted. Sirius sneered and threw a handful of marshmallows at the boy. Imagine his delight when the spell he had detected worked perfectly, covering the idiot in sticky, sweet, white goo with a scent so sweet that it was nearly nauseating. With a snarl, the boy returned fire. Sirius ducked... only for Bellatrix to get hit. With a snarl, she flung another handful down the table. The Gryffindors, seeing the Slytherin's having fun, first gaped in shock, before the third and fourth years all shouted,

"Marshmallow fight!" From there, it spread through out the Great Hall and didn't end until Dumbledore vanished the marshmallow bowls, which had been charmed to refill once emptied, and ordered them all to their dorms. There was a bit of grumbling, but soon the students, and a few of the staff, felt the sticky gooey mess they looked and trundled off to get cleaned up. It took most about half an hour to get all the goo off their skin and out of their hair, and Remus felt sorry for the elves that would be tasked with washing the goo covered clothes. However, when he got to the Great Hall for breakfast the next day, he couldn't help but chuckle at the obviously surprised looks and irritated mutterings of 'I still smell marshmallows!' He laughed when he heard that everyone was sure Sirius was behind the whole prank, which was labeled The Great Marshmallow War of Seventy-Four. Stupid Wizards, never suspecting the quite ones. They were often the most dangerous after all.


	7. The Bike

**Disclaimer:** Only the pointless plot is mine.

**Chapter 7:** How Sirius got The Bike

It was during a random walk in Muggle London, after his father had gotten him out of the house, when he saw it. "Betty," he moaned, and very nearly wafted over to the nineteen seventy Harley Davidson chopper with leather accents.

"She's not for sale, punk," the shop owner growled.

"Then why is she out here?" Sirius shot back.

"Enticement."

"For what?"

"Tomorrow night's poker game. Grand prize she is." Sirius gazed lovingly at the bike.

"How much to start?" he asked. The shop owner snorted a laugh.

"Seventy American dollars!" he boomed. Sirius nodded briskly and made his way to an abandoned alley, where he withdrew his Gringott's pouch and the required seventy dollars.

"Here, count me in," he said, determined to win back _his_ bike. The older man grunted, but gave a brisk nod and walked back into his shop. "I'm coming for you, my precious," Sirius muttered to the bike before leaving.

/*/

"Read em' and _weep_," Sirius said with a smirk, laying down his last winning hand. He could already feel the comforting vibrations of his precious Betty, could hear the purr of her modified engine.

"You little cheat!" the big man who had been a card away from winning shouted, overturning the table and attacking the slender young man. Sirius smirked and nimbly dodged.

"I ain't a cheat, punk, but if it's a fight you want..." he drawled, before yanking the man's face up to his. "It's a fight you shall get," he hissed before drop kicking him into the next guy. This of course sparked what was essentially a bar fight, mixed with an exercise in futility as Sirius wiped the floor with them. Without magic. And laughing his pretty little head off. After twenty minutes, he started dragging the bleeding, moaning men into a corner, then righted the table. "Sorry about the mess. Some people just can't take a loss, ya know?" Sirius said, walking up to the shop owner and holding out his hand with a grin. "I'll be taking that bike home now, if you don't mind."

"Take it. You won fair and square... at the very least in the fight," the man grinned, tossing Sirius the keys. It was a very happy Sirius that rode Betty home that night. A very happy Sirius indeed.

/*/

Regulus stared at his brother. "Really? _That's_ how you got the bike?" he asked. Sirius slurped his slushy, a smirk tugging at his lips and leaning against Betty.

"Yep! And her name is Betty. Don't forget it!" he answered. Regulus shook his head.

"And here I thought you weren't going to be reckless with your second chance," he muttered. Sirius pouted.

"I'm not reckless! The other guy started the fight, not me! And besides... Betty is _my_ baby. No-body else is going to take her home! Now, do you want to help with the modifications? I could use a hand reapplying the runes and the charms and the wards... and you are quite the little rune master... and ward master. Those two kinda go hand in hand, ya know? Eh, come on. Lets get Betty flying fit!" He said, pushing himself upright before swinging into the driver's seat. Regulus sighed.

"I'm going to regret this, aren't I?" he moaned. Sirius chuckled and kicked the engine to life. With a dull roar, they sped off down the street, an involuntary whoop of exhilaration ripping its way from Regulus' throat. Sirius grinned. This was how it should be, two brothers living life side by side.

/?/

A/N: Well? What do you think so far? Amusing? Not so amusing? Let me know, this poor brain child of mine is starved for reviews!


	8. Blue Haired Slytherins

Disclaimer: I own nothing... except the very, _very_ general idea. If you recognize it, likely, it's not mine. Enjoy the madness... if it can be called that.

**Chapter 8:** Blue Haired Slytherins

Sirius and Severus couldn't believe James had pranked the _whole_ House. Everyone, boys, girls, Seventh through First year, no-one was safe. All of them, or those who had taken a shower that morning, had blue hair. Shades and hues varied, as natural hair colors did, but it was all blue. Even black hair was now blue, though it was a rather pretty dark blue, but it was still blue. "I will hex Potter to within an inch of his life!" Severus hissed, glaring at his blue locks. Sirius snorted.

"Ah don't. He's trying to make sure no-one feels singled out. If it had just been you, wouldn't you feel like he was picking on you?" he asked. Severus sighed, but could see where the Black was coming from.

"Fine. But we are getting him back... right?" the slight boy asked, a gleam in his eyes. Sirius grinned.

"Oh yeah. In a big way. Watch," he said, then strode to the center of the room. "Oi!" he shouted. Severus felt his eyes widen.

"He's not..." he began, but before he could finish, Sirius revealed his plan.

"Who wants to prank Gryffindor?!"

"He is," Severus said with a sigh. Still most of the affected Slytherins came and sided with their Prank King. It was uncontested in Slytherin House, if you want revenge done right, Sirius was the one to go to. So, really, it wasn't _that_ surprising that the blue haired Slytherins flocked to Sirius. What was surprising, was Sirius' idea.

"Okay, let me get this straight. You want us to act as if we love the new look, and make sure to thank any and every Gryffindor we met for showing us what we were missing?"

"Yes! I have it on good authority that James Potter was the one who snuck in and added the dye... though I'm not sure how he got the girls. Honestly, if it weren't for his overwhelming _Gryffindorness_ James would have been a good Slytheirn with how slippery he is. And that's only half the plan, to make them all unsettled. After that, we swoop in and give _them_ a makeover! What do you say, gender changing potion? Green hair dye?" he asked.

"Both?" asked one of the sixth years. Sirius grinned.

"I like the way you think. Which one first? They can't happen at the same time. These just no style in that," he said. The others nodded and the prank began.

/*/

The Gryffindors were confused when Slytherins kept coming up to them and thanking them for the blue hair they sported. Frank looked at his friend James. "Why? Just... why?" he asked. James gave him a mystified look.

"Why what? Why are Slytherins thanking all of Gryffindor House for their blue hair? Or, why is Slytherin House grinning like scheming cats every time they see a Gryffindor? Or, why does all of Slytherin House have blue hair?" he asked. Frank sighed, another Slytherin thanking the duo for the makeover.

"Why did you prank Slytherin? Sirius is a part of that House... and they're all known for their cunning and oh-so-vaulted dignaty. Not to mention their unoffical motto. 'Don't get mad... '"

"'Get even.' Yeah, I know. But come on! Look at Greengrass!" James answered, nodding to a normally reserved and poised and _blond_ Heir Greengrass walk by... with electric blue hair and a very conniving smirk on his face. "And _Malfoy!_" Said pure-blood was also sporting electric blue hair but less of a smirk and more of a scowl. Frank sighed.

"Okay... it was kinda funny... but..." he said, trailing off as a rather pretty sixth year came sasahying up.

"Thanks for the new look boys. Maybe one day I can return the favor," she said with a wink before flouncing off. James shivered.

"Okay. So I might have made a mistake. But there was too much tension! I had to break it!" he said, trying to defend himself. Frank shook his head as he walked away.

"If you say so, Potter, if you say so." A week later, Gryffindor was so on edge, they jumped at any sign of green. Then... Slytherin stopped thanking Gryffindor. Two more weeks, and the Gryffs felt safe. That was when Sirius Black happened.

/*/

James, or rather, Jamie, growled. "How dare he do this to me!" the thirteen year old snarled, though it was a rather cute sound coming from the surprisingly petite girl. Frank, or Frankie, laughed at her friend.

"Oh come on James! You have to admit, this _is_ rather predictable. Slytherins always pay back ten fold," she said. James snarled again, though there was a wry edge to it. Lily, or Lin, shook his head.

"Crazy, the lot of you," he said, the sound of his own voice startling him. It was rather deep for a thirteen year old boy, and especially deep for someone who was used to being a girl. "And I blame you for this, Potter, even if it wasn't you who put the potion in our drinks," he said before stalking off. Jamie sighed as she watched him walk away.

"It's unfair how some people are gorgeous no matter what gender they are," she said with a sigh. Frankie did the most epic facepalm she could manage, which was still pretty epic.

"Please tell me you aren't getting a crush on Evans. Especially because of this," she groaned. Jamie laughed.

"Me? Have a crush on Evans? Nah!" she said, though she did wonder, would Lily actually pay any attention to James? She shook her head slightly. Why should she have a crush on Evans? It was insane. They were _thirteen!_ And she was currently a he and he was currently a she. Sometimes, he really hated his best friend.

/*/

"POTTER!" came a bellow from the Gryffindor table as all of them suddenly spouted lime green hair with silver streaks that looked remarkably like lightning bolts hitting rats. That moved. Really, it was quite an impressive prank. It was made more so by the fact that the Gryffindors were the opposite gender from what they should be... and had been so for a week despite the best efforts of the teachers. The Slytherin table broke out in muted chuckles, until one boy shouted,

"LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU!" James was certain it was Sirius. The gender-switch only lasted the rest of he day, but the hair lasted for another week. All of Slytherin was smug for the rest of the month. Until Sirius got pranked. With pink hair. Then they were wary. It doubled when Regulus turned up with pink hair as well. Their retaliation was legendary.

/?/

A/N:

Good? Bad? OMG don't do another one or I will track you down? Let me know what you think and if you have an idea, let me know. I have 24 other ideas lined up, but I'll see what I can do to work your's in. Reviews are love,

Regenengel3.


	9. Pink Haired Blacks

Disclaimer: Characters and setting are not owned by me. Plot and mild insanity? Yeah, okay, that _might_ be mine.

**Chapter 9:** Pink Haired Blacks... and Why it's a Bad Idea

Sirius swore he was going to kill the idiot who had turned his hair pink. Slowly, painfully, and with lots and lots of glitter. He stalked down to the kitchen for some food – no way was he letting the fool laugh himself silly in the Great Hall – when he ran into Regulus. Who also had pink hair. "Any idea who hit us?" Regulus asked, a dangerous glimmer in his eyes. Sirius shook his head, though the look in his eyes matched his brother's. "Well then... think you could cast a glamor on us to make it look like our hair _isn't_ dyed pink? The one with the disappointed face should be our culprit. I'd do it myself, but I'm not that good yet," Regulus suggested. Sirius slammed his palm into his forehead.

"Of course! Regulus, you are a genius! Then again, it's a rather simple solution. I wonder why it didn't cross my mind? Ah well, stand still, I haven't gotten used to doing these in this body you know, so it will take a bit of doing," he said. Regulus nodded and stood perfectly still. Five minutes later, Regulus was done and Sirius was frowning at his wand. "It should _not_ take that long," he growled, before closing his eyes and letting out a deep, slow breath and waving his wand in a complicated pattern over his own head. Six tried later, his hair appeared the same raven wing black color as ever. Regulus was giving his brother a sympathetic look. "Okay... now let's go disappoint a fool!" the elder brother said, a sadistic gleam reentering his eyes. Regulus chuckled darkly, matching his brother for sadism. Sirius was so proud of his baby brother. They grow up so fast you know?

"Heck yeah!" he crowed, then took off down the hall toward the Great Hall where everyone else was enjoying breakfast. Sirius followed only slightly more sedately. He was plotting, you see, and it does not good to run while you plot. The evil chuckles floating toward Regulus tipped him off to what his brother was doing, and he slowed down. No way was he going to attack without his big brother's input. Sirius was scarily creative when it came to revenge. All he had to do was remember the Blue Haired Slytherin Incident to know that.

/*/

There was an unnatural chill in the air as the Brothers Black entered the Great Hall. One Ravenclaw was watching the door a little too intently as the brothers entered, and frowned a little too deeply when he was them. _'Target Locked,'_ Sirius thought, seeing the frown. Regulus shivered slightly, and both brothers gave the boy grins. However, these were not the kind of grins you want aimed your way. No. these were the grins of a pair of ruthless, sadistic, bloodthirsty, killers. Jason Gleaming shivered. Then the brothers began to chuckle, low, dark, and promising pain and torment beyond imagining. Jason fainted. The brothers laughed. Jason's friends turned slowly toward the unconscious idiot. "What did you _do?_" the closest one whispered in dread. Sirius walked over and handed them a piece of paper.

"For your friend, when he wakes," the elder Black Brother said, still grinning his slasher grin. The poor boy nodded. He put the note in his pocket, not daring to read what the suddenly _very_ terrifying Black had to say to his friend. That night, wails of anguish could be heard from the first year boy's wing of Ravenclaw tower. Regulus, a few doors down, and Remus, in the third year's wing, chuckled darkly. The boy had read the note. What did it say? '_You have signed your warrant._'

/*/

It had been a month and a half, and the Brothers Black had been smiling and speaking cordially to Jason the Foolish Ravenclaw. Said Foolish Ravenclaw was nearly paranoid. "They're there, waiting. I know they are! Waiting, with their smiles and their polite greetings and their silent promises of _doom_. You will not make me go," Jason hissed at his friends when they tried to drag him out of the Tower one sunny Saturday morning. They sighed, and then Regulus came up to them with a blinding grin.

"Hey guys! What's wrong?" he asked, oh-so-innocently with an oh-so-friendly smile on his face.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! IT'S HIM! I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU! _But did you listen?_ NO!_" Jason screamed. Regulus chuckled, because Blacks _do not_ giggle, and said,

"Oh come now Jason! What could I do to hurt you with your friends right beside you? You're perfectly safe." A rather disheveled head peeked out, eyes narrowed.

"I don't believe you," he bit out, then vanished. Regulus sighed, though the two boys beside him felt that he was really laughing... no, _cackling_, with glee at the discomfort he was causing Jason.

"Then I guess you're going to miss the pancakes and cream cheese and strawberries and... french toast... that's for breakfast today," the Black said. Jason sighed and came out, though he never took his eyes off the Black. They're tricky people after all. Never know when they'll shoot a color changer, or something worse, at your back. Regulus smiled 'happily' at the boy. "See? That wasn't so bad, now was it?" he asked. Too bad Jason's misgivings were well founded that morning. The Blacks sat on either side of him that meal, and took note of how frazzled he was. They decided to put him out of his misery. The first part of the prank was enacted that afternoon at lunch.

/*/

"WHY AM I PINK!?" Jason roared, shooting up from his place at the table. The Blacks carefully didn't pay him any attention, though those paying attention could see the savage glee in their eyes. James sighed and shook his head.

"You attempted to prank them, didn't you?" he asked. Jason's already pink face lit up. "Ye~~~~~ah, don't," James said seriously while the brother's Black chuckled, low and dark, from the Slytherin table. Regulus had readily adopted Sirius' habit of eating at seemingly random tables. It made for a much wider friend base. Remus snickered, also sitting at the Slytherin table.

"You were right Siri. Slytherin _does_ have the best view!" the sandy haired Ravenclaw said, popping another blueberry in his mouth. Regulus was munching on a strawberry and chuckling. No-one was quite sure how, but he managed to be adorable and terrifying at the same time. Sirius grinned.

"Phase two: complete. Initiate phase three," he said before sucking another grape into his mouth with a pop. Jason really didn't want to know what phase three was.

/*/

"Seriously?" Jason asked, looking at his trunk. All of his clothes had been replaced with, or transfigured into, it was hard to tell when in a school of magic users, dresses. And not just any dresses, oh no! Pink frilly dresses. Oh yeah, and it had been three weeks since 'phase three' had been enacted. Jason was officially over pranking. Still, there was on-one that would save him from this, so with a sigh, he put on his frilly pink dress and walked out to breakfast, thought the Blacks had been kind enough to prank him on a Saturday. Again. He wasn't quite sure he'd ever look at Saturdays the same way again. Seeing as Jason wasn't as mortified as the first time, the Blacks took pity on him and reversed the transfiguration by dinner and said, in unison,

"Operation Pink Revenge: complete."

"Oh thank Merlin!" Jason said, falling forward. The Blacks shared a Look, shrugged, and dug into their peach cobbler. It was declared that the Black Brothers were not to be specifically targeted on pain of paranoia, humiliation, and possible insanity. The Brothers Black had no beef with that.


	10. Emo Potter

Disclaimer: A blurb I thought would be funny. I own nothing. Not even the idea is that original. Hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 10:** Emo Potter... And What Became of Him

James had been turned down. James was not happy. James was wearing all black. James was brooding in a dark corner. Putting all of this together, Sirius came to a terrifying conclusion. James Potter was... _**EMO!**_ This could not be allowed to continue. Oh-no, it could not be allowed. So, he hatched a cunning plan... and dragged the rest of the Marauders into it. He tried to get Severus, Regulus, Marlene, and Lily in on it too, but failed. Lily had been the one to turn James down, Marlene was Lily's friend, Severus didn't really like James and could care less that he was being emo, and Regulus had homework. At least, that was the excuse he gave. Sirius was fairly sure the little Ravenclaw just didn't want to be part of the craziness just yet. He could respect that... for the rest of the year. Then his brother would have some really magical knowledge and make all pranksters bow before his awesomeness! Yes, and Sirius would be right there beside him. Even James would have to bow before the epic awesomeness of the Brothers Black! But that he was getting off track. They had to get James to stop being emo first, and that called for chocolate, a twenty gallon drum, red sparkles, tin foil, invisible string, five chickens, and a party hat. Why a party hat? Because it's fun, that's why. Now, Operation: Cure the Emo... commence!

/*/

James knew something was up. His emo senses were tingling He just didn't know what was up. And if you say the ceiling, he will hex you. Emos do not like being made fun of. "James~," came an eerie voice from an unused classroom. James fought back an eep and looked inside. What he saw... was horror. Sirius was dressed in a white sheet and flinging rice at him. It was so random, so strange, so impossible, and so Sirius that James had to flee... or _laugh_. Truly, it was an emo's worst nightmare. So, like any self-respecting emo would, James fled. Sirius gasped under his sheet. "Ah. He got away. Do not fear! James! I shall free you from this evil!" he suddenly shouted, the image of a sunset on the beach appearing behind him, the entire scene gaining the look of an oil painting. Remus poked his head in, somehow looking like a child's attempt at anime, and said,

"He's not listening. You know that, right?" Sirius gasped comically, then took off after his friend, crying fake tears and leaving a dust trail. Honestly, what is up with all these anime effects? This is not an anime! "Um... you do know that magic doesn't care... right?" Remus asked the narrator, who then jerked with surprise.

"EH! You can see me?! You can hear me?! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?" Remus gave the anime-cool-apathtic-main-guy-character-smirk-and-heh combo.

"We have stolen the show, please sit back and enjoy the reality warp," he said before vanishing after his mildly insane best friend who was chasing their for-some-odd-reason-emo friend. Don't worry, it was a rather confusing day for everyone.

/*/

Remus knew that he would succeed. Who could stay emo in the face of a five pound chuck of Honeyduke's chocolate? "Oi! James! I have something for you!" the over-the-top cheerful werewolf called out, skipping (yes. Skipping. Be afraid. Be _very_ afraid.) over to James. He didn't wait to see what Remus had for him. He ran. He ran for his very life. There were some things in the world that should not happen; a singing Severus Snape, a pink Black, a blue Slytherin, a happy Voldemort, a drunk McGonagal, a cross between a fire crab and a newt(don't ask), a whistling Filtch; and a skipping, sparkling, grinning Remus Lupin was one of those things. One could not really fault James for running. Emo or not, when you see something like that, you scream and run. However, Remus wasn't about to give up. He stopped skipping, but not sparkling or grinning, and ran flat out after the raven haired emo Seeker. There were not many who could match Remus for speed, though James gave him quite a run that day, but the inevitable happened. Remus tackled James. "It's _chocolate!_" Remus said happily, holding up his gift as if it were something sacred, which to him it was. James groaned and let his head fall back onto the dusty ground.

"That's nice. Now, please, _get off,_" he hissed from his position underneath the happily grinning, shinning, sparkling, and, horror of horrors, _giggling_ Remus.

"Okay~!" Remus chirped, still in that horrifyingly overly cheerful mood. The werewolf handed over the chocolate and, thankfully, lost a bit of his over-the-topness. "Man, that much chocolate is dangerous! Make sure you eat some, quick, before it takes you over too!" Remus said. Did I say he lost his over-the-topness? Nah, just the cheeriness. The dramatics were still as over-the-top as ever. James wished he knew a spell that would make someone depressed and withdrawn. Hum... maybe he should mention that to Regulus. The kid already had a flare for spellwork, maybe he could work something out. But again, that is not the point. Gah! Stop giving me these off topic tangents! Wait... isn't that the same thing? Eh, oh well. On with the story!

"Did you get hit with a super powered cheering charm?" James asked, taking the chocolate and holding it at arms length, which was pretty impressive as it was five pounds of pure chocolate of the finest quality. Remus looked shocked.

"How are you not effected by the chocolate? I was sure it was big enough piece to effect even you! Clearly, I underestimated the Power of the Emo. Hold on James! We will free you from this evil!" the werewolf said before vanishing in a puff of smoke, Naruto style. James sighed.

"That anime hasn't even been invented yet. And when did Hogwarts get turned into an anime anyway?" he asked, rubbing the back of his head with a puzzled expression before replacing his emo mask. Underneath, he was cackling like a madman. It was such fun to see his friends trying make make him not be emo, they didn't seem to realize he was just playing around. Suckers.

/*/

"Peter! You're turn!" Remus said, entering the RoR with a rather put out look. Sirius and Peter gasped.

"Moony! Have you been infected by the emo?" Sirius asked. Remus sighed.

"I was sure the chocolate would work... but it didn't. I'm sorry. I failed. Please, Peter, use your awesome plan. I pray it works before we have to use Sirius' crazy plan," he said. Sirius scoffed in mock-offense at that.

"It's not that crazy. You just refuse to see the genius of it," he said. Peter leaned over to Remus.

"I'll get the paint-ball gun your dad made for me, you keep him here, okay?" Remus nodded and Peter left to arm himself for the trail ahead. The Hufflepuff grinned as he marched to his dorm. That emo wouldn't know what hit him!

/*/

James was beginning to get irritated. What was up with his friends? I mean, sure, he was acting like an emo, but really? Muggle ghost costumes and rice, five pound chunks of chocolate, and now a paintball gun loaded with red glitter glue shells? What? "Why? Just... Why?" he asked, running from the cackling Peter.

"Die emo! DIE!" the Hufflepuff screamed, pumping another shell into the barrel of his gun. James made a desperate dive into a tunnel scrambled down it, then rolled into an unused classroom that smelled and looked like it hadn't been used since the Founder's Era before dashing off toward Gryffindor Tower. Lucky for him, Peter had been unable to keep up and thus lost him. James let out a relived sigh.

"Perhaps it's best if I drop the emo persona?" the Potter Heir asked himself as he strode softly down a secret passageway that was a shortcut to Gryffindor Tower. He grinned. "Nah~! Let us see what else my crazy friends will come up with to 'cure' me." If he had known what Sirius had in store for him, he might have just dropped the persona then and there. But he didn't, and he would later regret it. The Marauders weren't feared in another time-line for nothing after all, and Sirius was one of the worst offenders. Poor, poor James Potter, he was about to be hit with something no-one but Padfoot could have cooked up.

/*/

Peter shook his head. "Remus... please... stop laughing like that," the poor Hufflepuff groaned. Remus Lupin was currently mixing up chocolate in a twenty gallon drum and laughing while Sirius was loading balloons with red sparkles and tin foil then attaching them to invisible strings. What purpose the five chickens and party hat were going to serve Peter didn't think he really want to know. However disconcerting the sight of Sirius Black loading prank balloons with tinfoil and red sparkles while grinning and then tying them to a trip wire was, the sight of a manically laughing Remus stirring chocolate in a twenty gallon drum, lit only from beneath, was worse. Peter couldn't really turn on more lights, but maybe he could get Remus to stop laughing like that.

"NEVER! AH-HAHAHAHAHA!" Remus cackled. Peter sighed, then escaped the Room of Doom. As he was walking away, a thought occurred to him.

"Every room with Sirius, or any Black for that matter, is a Room of Doom, isn't it?" he asked the only slightly dusty corridor. Hogwarts had quite a few unused corridors and classrooms as they only had ten teachers and a headmaster. Honestly, why didn't they have several teachers for the same subjects so that each year had a professor suited to their age group? That would make sense, right? Oh. Right. Sense. When did the British Wizarding World ever make sense? It didn't. So, one professor for each subject and a whole bunch of unused rooms perfect for pranking, snogging, and general rulebreaking.

"Peter! Come here and help me charm these chickens to sing would you?!" Sirius suddenly yelled. Peter sighed.

"Oh. So that's what the chickens were for," Peter said glumly, turning on his heel and walking back into the Room of Terror. To be honest, he felt sorry for James. Not even the most emo of emo's deserved _this_...

/*/

James could tell it would be a bad day. Why? Because Remus had brown smears on his face and hands and his eyes gleamed madly. Not only that, but Peter was shooting him pitying glances from the Hufflepuff table, Sirius was skipping, the Great Hall smelled suspiciously of chocolate, and Regulus took one step into the room, growled, then spun on his heel to stride back out in such an elegantly disgusted manner James was sure a few Slytherins moaned in envy. Oh yes, a horrible day indeed. His crazy friends were kind enough to wait until most people had finished eating before unleashing their monstrosity they dared call a cheer-up prank. Chocolate rained down in him(Remus cackled madly, yelling "CHOCOLATE FOR THE WIN!" at the Ravenclaw table.), five chickens dressed in red and gold sequin dresses came strutting up to him signing 'Don't Worry, Be Happy'(Where Sirius got _that_ song James did not know), and Sirius stood up and donned a Party hat before joining the chickens, who were now attempting to do the can-can. James glowered at his mad, mad, friends and stalked out the door. Too bad for him, Regulus had set up the trip wire when he strode out and so the balloons fell from the arch of the door, covering the already gooey Potter in tinfoil and red glitter. He growled and turned to the Slytherin table. "I'm gonna get you, Black, and your little cat too," he said menacingly. Sirius gulped. When James got _that_ tone of voice, it meant trouble for someone. And this time, it was Sirius and Regulus who were to be on the receiving end of James' ire.

"Perhaps this wasn't the best idea," Sirius moaned, face pale. Severus snickered, totally unsympathetic.

"You brought this on yourself Siri. Now, you must lay in the bed you've made," he said. Sirius groaned and dropped his head onto the table.

"You're a lot of help," he groused. The other Slytherins were torn between laughing at Sirius' misfortune, offering help to the Gryffindor, or helping Sirius hide. Some genuinely liked Sirius, but there were more who didn't care for him. In the end, James humiliated Sirius and Regulus, along with Remus, quite thoroughly with random pranks spread over seven months. They never pranked James Charles Potter like that again.

/?/

A/N: So, what did you think? Please, leave a review in the lonely gray box down below!


	11. Nick-Names

A/N: Yes, I know I have Sirius telling them when he's talking about his previous life, but this was just a more amusing way of revealing the reason behind the nick-names and a bit of an overreaction piece for the other Marauders. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

**Chapter 11:** When Marauders Figure out Sirius' Nick-Names for Them(alternate version)

James didn't know what to make of his new shape. A stag, a big white stag. It was okay... but the connotations of it and what Sirius would say when he found out... Waa~it! Sirius knew! That was why he kept calling him 'Prongs!' The little... oh, Sirius was going to pay for that idiotic nickname! And he was fairly sure the other Marauders would help, though Remus didn't get such a bad name. I mean, Mooney for a werewolf? Not bad, better than Prongs for a stag anyway. Now, to see if Peter had found his animal form yet. James cackled as he stalked down the corridor, the sound alone sending all third years and below fleeing in terror. The added visuals of James Potter grinning and rubbing his hands together evilly had a few of the younger students fainting and set the fourth and fifth years running. The sixth and seventh years merely walked away. Quickly.

/*/

Peter was torn between being pleased and being embarrassed. His form was a badger. A BADGER! No-one would let him live this down. A Badger being a badger... James would be cackling for months! Not to mention Sirius. Peter's face went white at the thought of what Sirius would do with the knowledge. He nodded, fire lighting his blue eyes. Sirius would either never know, or he would never mention it for fear of the Wrath of Peter! That was when James came into the room. "I'm a stag," the Potter Heir said. Peter sighed.

"That's..."

"Prongs." Peter blinked, then gave his friend a sympathetic look.

"I'm sorry," he said. James' grin was actually beginning to give him the creeps. "James?"

"Prank Sirius for his lousy naming sense?" he asked. Peter answered his evil grin with his own.

"I'll help, but on one condition." James gave him a pleading/curious look. "Never get on my case for having a badger form." James bit his cheek, obviously struggling to do as his friend had asked, but eventually he nodded. Peter's evil grin was back. "Excellent. Now, let us hound ourselves a hound!" he said. James felt a thrill go down his back like it always did when Peter got _that_ look in his eyes. Oh, this was going to be _fun_.

/*/

Remus looked at his two crazy friends and sighs. "Why am I included in this?" he asked. James grins and Peter gives him the Look.

"Sirius' naming sense," they said in unison, though Peter deadpanned while James crowed. Remus couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips.

"Well then, since it's for a noble cause... let me get my cauldron. Peter, The Book. James, the Map. This is going to be epic!" the werewolf said, eyes gleaming similarly. The other two grinned back and rushed off to get the materials needed for their pay back.

/*/

When Sirius woke up two days later with clown make-up and pigtails that he couldn't get rid of and sparkly robes he knew his friends had completed their animagus training. This feeling was confirmed when a note came to him during breakfast. "You have bad naming sense. And why did we accept those goofy nicknames? Were we drunk? Do reconsider the Marauder Names." Sirius sighed.

"Guys! Their just stupid nicknames! Why do this over them?!" Sirius howled.

"Stupid is right!" James yelled back.

"You should be ashamed!" Peter called.

"Give me chocolate!" Remus demanded. Sirius glowered, but his eyes sparkled and a smile tugged at his lips.

"Alright you scalawags! I'm ashamed, I can't think of better names, and I'll give you your chocolate when you give me the antidote!" Sirius yelled back.

/*/

"And that was what happened when we found out the reason for our nicknames!" James said happily to the Second Generation of the Marauders. Harry frowned.

"But dad... didn't Uncle Badger get his name when he showed it to Uncle Padfoot's review group?" he asked innocently. James looked over at Sirius. The Grim animagus shrugged.

"Uncle Badger did get his Name that way, but in the reality that Uncle Padfoot remembers from Before... Uncle Badger was a traitor who bore the Name Wormtail. Wormtail was a rat," James said.

"But then... your story makes no sense!" Jack said. Sirius frowned.

"Obe, your name makes no sense," he said. Oberon frowned at his father.

"What does that have to do with anything?" he asked. The Marauders grinned.

"Exactly," they said as one, before Lily and Marlene smacked James and Sirius, respectively. The boys giggled and left to play outside, leaving their fathers to grouse and grumble with their bachelor friends.


End file.
